Instead of boring you with tails of early toilet training
trials or describing the empty rum bottles we found hidden on top of the pot
shelves in his bedroom, we have decided to describe a decade of Brian and his
sports follies.
In an effort to involve Brian in sports, we decided to start
out with soccer, a popular team sport for youth in the 80’s. Brian was so cute
running up and down the field – as a matter of fact, that’s about all he ever
did – run with his team one way, then turn around and run with his team the
other way. I don’t think he ever came in contact with the soccer ball, much
less kick one – but he sure knew how to run back and forth.
Since soccer didn’t really seem to excite him, he expressed
an interest in playing little league baseball. He even practiced with a big
white plastic ball and huge red bat when we would go camping as a family. I
think he got too used to the huge red bat, because when it was his turn to bat
in little league, he swung more than he connected. His position in the field
was out field – WAY out field. Not many balls would come his way, so he spent a
lot of time studying the rocks on the ground and observing the bug trails as
they left the field.
In middle school he begged to be on the wrestling team. I’m
not sure why except maybe he felt real mean after he posed for his sport
picture in his wrestling uniform. Either that or he had an illusion of taking
his English teacher down and pinning her to the mat – forever. He did hold a
wrestling record, however – never winning a match.
Brian was on the swim team one summer. That didn’t last the
entire summer because he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror in his
speedos. It was just too embarrassing for a very modest young man.
We would be remiss if we didn’t mention teaching Brian how
to water ski. He had short little skis that were held together in the middle with
a plastic strap to ensure his feet would stay together and not cause his legs
to go into an awkward split. I don’t know who had more endurance, Brian or
Daddy. HIT IT, pull a few feet, DOWN. HIT IT, pull a few feet, DOWN. The unique
thing about Brian’s early water skiing is that he would not even put the skis
on unless he was wearing his socks. Heaven forbid if he had lost his socks at
Lake Powell like he did his Smurf shirt.
Brian finally found his sport in high school – golf. He was
on the golf team, went to Junior Golf tournaments, and won several trophies. He
even won most-valuable player one season. And, a moment I’m sure he is very proud
of is when he beat Daddy one time at Moon Valley.
And just look at the sports he’s involved with now – wakeboarding,
snowboarding, softball, kickball, NASCAR chaser, and champion pub crawler. What
a guy.
