OUR SON, BRIAN

Instead of boring you with tails of early toilet training trials or describing the empty rum bottles we found hidden on top of the pot shelves in his bedroom, we have decided to describe a decade of Brian and his sports follies.

In an effort to involve Brian in sports, we decided to start out with soccer, a popular team sport for youth in the 80’s. Brian was so cute running up and down the field – as a matter of fact, that’s about all he ever did – run with his team one way, then turn around and run with his team the other way. I don’t think he ever came in contact with the soccer ball, much less kick one – but he sure knew how to run back and forth.

Since soccer didn’t really seem to excite him, he expressed an interest in playing little league baseball. He even practiced with a big white plastic ball and huge red bat when we would go camping as a family. I think he got too used to the huge red bat, because when it was his turn to bat in little league, he swung more than he connected. His position in the field was out field – WAY out field. Not many balls would come his way, so he spent a lot of time studying the rocks on the ground and observing the bug trails as they left the field.

In middle school he begged to be on the wrestling team. I’m not sure why except maybe he felt real mean after he posed for his sport picture in his wrestling uniform. Either that or he had an illusion of taking his English teacher down and pinning her to the mat – forever. He did hold a wrestling record, however – never winning a match.

Brian was on the swim team one summer. That didn’t last the entire summer because he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror in his speedos. It was just too embarrassing for a very modest young man.

We would be remiss if we didn’t mention teaching Brian how to water ski. He had short little skis that were held together in the middle with a plastic strap to ensure his feet would stay together and not cause his legs to go into an awkward split. I don’t know who had more endurance, Brian or Daddy. HIT IT, pull a few feet, DOWN. HIT IT, pull a few feet, DOWN. The unique thing about Brian’s early water skiing is that he would not even put the skis on unless he was wearing his socks. Heaven forbid if he had lost his socks at Lake Powell like he did his Smurf shirt.

Brian finally found his sport in high school – golf. He was on the golf team, went to Junior Golf tournaments, and won several trophies. He even won most-valuable player one season. And, a moment I’m sure he is very proud of is when he beat Daddy one time at Moon Valley.

And just look at the sports he’s involved with now – wakeboarding, snowboarding, softball, kickball, NASCAR chaser, and champion pub crawler. What a guy.